'Tragedy runs in my family'

The publication of Britney Spears' long-awaited book, The Woman in Me, gives the superstar an opportunity to share the truth behind her stratospheric career but also the controversial 13-year conservatorship she was subjected to. Unsurprisingly, this book goes to dark places. The chilling examples of psychological torment Spears has endured at the hands of those who should have protected her are utterly shocking. People should feel physically, socially, and psychologically safest around their close family but this wasn't the case for Spears. And sadly not for other people either. While Spears' life and experiences are unique in many respects, parts of the book personally resonated with me.

Spears states at the beginning of her book that, 'Tragedy runs in my family'. She reflects on the intergenerational transmission of trauma including abuse and coercive control. However, while readers with a psychological background may notice these concepts within the book, Spears does not name them explicitly. As a reader with an interest in psychology, these concepts seemed apparent but without a clinical background, it is arguably my own interpretation of the text.

The individual experiences of the reader that will always impact the resonance of books. My experiences of parental estrangement and legally changing my name makes reading stories around dysfunction a trigger. However, the above quote reflects a deterministic view in which tragedy dominates, but there are many examples of the contrary within Spears' family. The self-reflection that arises from narratives of intergenerational trauma is such that a similar pattern may be identifiable within one's own family, yet taking an attitude of gratitude similarly enables an oppositional narrative to breakthrough. Spears' voice shines throughout, but the tone and structure of her book reflects the juxtaposition of her public self and private self and of the tension between her youth and developmental trajectory. Its resonance surprised and shamed me. This is a book which raises questions for the reader. Spears writes with the optimism of a child before the anger and the hard-earned wisdom of her experiences screams out.

The significance of our birth order within our family is also apparent in Britney's book. Where her older brother had been subjected to their father modelling the overbearing abuse, he had experienced, Spears' younger sister had a very different childhood with greater privilege. Spears is both the middle child and eldest daughter, two positions that have specific cultural connotations, such as being overlooked and over-burdened. While Spears demonstrates these characteristics, there is the issue of confirmation bias forming my assessment. As the eldest in birth order and the eldest daughter, I could be projecting my own failures and experiences, and attempting to construct an identity of value. Aside from the relatable and otherwise resonating aspects of Spears' book, it would be an oversight to not acknowledge that she has had some undeniably unique experiences.

Spears also describes the feeling of people 'pouring salt in the wound' and words that 'could leave a bruise'. This is no doubt something many people will have felt throughout their life, whether from childhood bullies or workplace demons. However, for Spears, these metaphorical wounds and bruises came from multiple domains: her family, the media, politicians, her peers in entertainment. Spears' developmental trajectory has been erratic and nonlinear, and for fans of her music, some of her early lyrics appear to have been eerily prophetic, but again, confirmation bias and projection could be my fault in perception. On the other hand, the nature of the conservatorship to which Spears was subjected, was a collision of being infantilised, controlled, and restricted as if a child, concurrent with working, or being worked, exhaustively, and earning millions of dollars worldwide. Spears turns 42 on the 2nd of December and whether the old adage life beings at 40 is true or not, she remains in flux: the freedom and autonomy the dissolution of the conservatorship represents, coexists with the limitations of being in the glare of the world's eyes. Freedom in name alone perhaps.

One of the dominant themes within the book is the abhorrent sexism that Spears was subjected to her whole life. Whether it is an adult male asking her as a 10-year-old if she has a boyfriend, to them leering at her like she 'was some kind of Lolita fantasy,' Spears has been objectified, vilified, and terrorised by men. The callous derision against Spears at her low points contrasts starkly with the men in the public eye who have demonstrated erratic behaviour yet faced fewer consequences. Spears did not take hard drugs, she did not tweet outlandish claims, nor did she weaponise her fanbase against anyone. The (mis)treatment of women and their devaluing is especially pertinent around the conservatorship where Spears begged for anyone else to be appointed the conservator, only to be ignored. However, her mother was 'not much better', so it is important to acknowledge that while there are significant gender differences, it is complicated.

The exploitation of Spears vulnerability makes for difficult reading. The now infamous head-shaving incident of February 2007 is explained by Spears thus: 'Shaving my head was a way of saying to the world: Fuck you.' Aside from the Internet jokes and throwaway vox pops, the negative responses came thick and fast from within her inner circle, with her mother having barely looked at her while her father called her 'a disgrace.' Hair can represent a psychological battleground: I compulsively stress-brush my hair and have had nightmares where I hack it all off. As much as it feels like a shameful revelation to make, given the societal value attributed to women's hair, I wonder how many other women are familiar with this battle, or at least relate to Spears' expression of her distress in 2007.

Everyone who reads Spears' book will read the same words, but they will not have the same experience. Far from being a revenge-driven, bridge-burning scream into the void, Spears' harrowing tale offers unexpected aspects of hope and optimism. Trauma may well be within the family, but it does not have to be deterministic. Where Britney reflects feeling like she was never good enough for her parents, her book is dedicated to 'my boys, who are the loves of my life.' Britney cannot change the past, but she can shape her future and reclaim her power and voice. Britney did escape. She turned 40 shortly after her release from the conservatorship and has shared various simple joys such as driving and appearing on social media which many of us would take for granted. The Woman in Me is a story of one of the most prominent figures of a generation yet there are psychological themes here which are universal. It is a reminder that there can be hope in the darkest of times and that meaningful change can be possible. The Woman in Me has made me wonder about the woman in me. Onscreen that statement looks like a cheesy, glib, kitsch comment but would it seem less tacky or as a clever play on words, coming from a person who is somebody?

- Reviewed by Clara Clein Wolfe. The Woman in Me is out now.