“Loneliness is part of the human experience - we need to be better at talking about it” 

For Loneliness Awareness Week, we spoke to Dr. Mhairi Bowe, Associate Professor in Social Psychology at Heriot-Watt University and researcher specialising in the relationships between social connection and inclusion, loneliness, health, and wellbeing. She explains why people might feel lonely but may be reluctant to admit it and shares the benefits of everyday connection. 

Why do you think there's still such stigma around admitting to feeling lonely? 

First, I think it's useful to look at the notion of stigma, which essentially involves the idea of a negative characteristic or marker that's ascribed to and experienced by a person or a group. Then, we must remember that humans are social animals - we depend upon our social relationships for survival. They provide a sense of belonging, safety, support, purpose, and meaning. Our social groups - families, friends, colleagues or teammates - are the lens through which we experience the world and understand our place in it. Those social connections give us our sense of identity and provide sets of 'norms' that guide our behaviour in an often unpredictable world.   

For those reasons, being socially connected and having positive connections with lots of friends or a close family is seen as normative or expected in many societies. The pressures of these idealised norms weigh heavily on those who find they aren't experiencing the kinds of social connections they feel they want or need.  

When we experience a sense of loneliness from unwanted isolation or disconnection, we might therefore feel like we are unusual and look for some explanation of this. Often those explanations feel negative, which means admissions of loneliness can be experienced as stigmatising.  

Many people report feeling a level of shame or embarrassment around admitting to loneliness – is there any advice you could give to help people view their own loneliness with more compassion? 

Although reports vary, often according to the measures used, how questions are asked, and who chooses to complete voluntary surveys, they typically suggest that loneliness is a common experience. A recent survey by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) suggested that more than a quarter of the UK report feeling loneliness always, often, or some of the time.  

Loneliness is therefore common and shouldn't be thought of as something inherent to specific individuals. In fact, it is much more likely to be influenced by external factors. Loneliness is often predicted by certain periods in our life, particularly during and following life transitions such as relocation, becoming a parent, losing your job or retiring, or starting university.  

We can also feel lonely following difficult periods when we perhaps feel less understood by those around us, such as following a diagnosis or traumatic event. As well as being context dependent, loneliness can also be context specific. For example, we may have a rich and rewarding social life but experience loneliness in our workplace.  

Far from unusual, loneliness is part of the human experience and that means we need to be better at supporting people experiencing it appropriately. Community embedded services and social activities can be critical in providing a curative pathway to meaningful social connection in difficult times, but they need to be adequately resourced. Talking more openly about loneliness is also critical.  

Recent changes in our societal approach to mental health provide a good example of how stigmatised experience can become more normalised over time through open dialogue. There's far less stigma around mental health than there was in the past. We know a lot more about it and we're a lot better at saying, 'I'm struggling right now' and seeking support. The reduction in stigma and better education has been achieved in part through prominent figures coming forward and sharing their experiences, which has helped normalise mental health challenges. 

We've also seen grassroots community activities that have done great work to normalise accessing social support for mental health (and loneliness). Organisations like Andy's Man Club and Men's Sheds come to mind. Both provide spaces where men can come together, have room to talk openly about challenges, and find social connection and support.  

If you could dispel one misconception about loneliness tomorrow, what would it be? 

A common, and now better understood myth, is that loneliness results from being alone. Of course, we know that being alone and experiencing solitude can be very rewarding and often desired. We also know that we can feel alone even when surrounded by others.  

In social identity terms, we know that meaningful identity-based social relationships provide rewarding social connection and less meaningful social interactions don't have that positive potential.  

We also know that it is quality rather than the quantity of social relationships that predicts wellbeing outcomes. If we are surrounded by people who we don't feel psychologically connected to, then it is still very possible to feel lonely because we are not experiencing the level of rewarding social connection we desire.   

I think there are other important myths to dispel. One is that idea that loneliness is somehow unusual or due to some individual characteristic. Another is that vulnerability to loneliness is the same across the community. In fact, we know that it is often experienced unequally because of lack of resources, marginalisation, or discrimination which can make us more likely to experience loneliness. This needs to feature in the way we approach loneliness reduction. 

As well as helping to address loneliness, what are the psychological benefits of making connections with others? 

Research framed by the Social Identity Approach to Health, pioneered by colleagues in Australia and the UK, has produced a large and convincing body of evidence showing that social connections, whether in our workplaces, our social life, our homes, or in educational or therapeutic contexts, provide us with feelings support and of belonging and offer valuable emotional and wellbeing outcomes such as meaning, esteem, purpose, and a sense of control.   

These identity resources are linked with significant health outcomes like reduced stress and illness, improved mental and physical health, and better clinical outcomes and recovery. In work groups, they also have useful outcomes including better communication and performance. The social group that comes perhaps most easily to mind is family, which can be a hugely influential resource for handling life's challenges and felt acutely when it is not characterised by positive connection.  

Can you tell us a bit about social prescribing and how this can help address loneliness? 

Social prescribing (SP) is a process through which individuals in a community who are experiencing socially determined challenges, including loneliness and isolation, can receive targeted support and links with health-improving social connection opportunities.  

There are various models across the world but in the UK, we typically have a Link Worker based approach where individuals who visit their GP can be referred to a Link Worker who helps them access activities and groups within their community. This could be physical activities, hobby groups, or purely social activities.  

Where it works well, SP can improve physical and mental health through rewarding social connection and targeted support offered directly through Link Workers or within the community groups themselves.   

We're starting to learn more about what makes SP work and what might impede its success. For example, where community members gain more social group identities through the activities they are linked with, they feel more supported and connected first to those groups, and also to their community. This predicts reductions in loneliness, better wellbeing, mental health, self-rated health and reductions in using primary care. 

However, we have also found that its success can be impeded when people feel they don't 'fit' in the groups they are linked to; when the group dynamics don't create a sense of belonging; or when those groups are inaccessible, unwelcoming, or become unavailable.  

What activities or hobbies do you like to do to help feel connected to others? 

Parkrun was great for me to meet new people and connect with my local community when I relocated some years ago. Physical activities such as Parkrun often come with added social benefits, such as the conversations (and informal support) shared over coffee after a run or via participating or collaborating in activities. Parkrun also provides really rewarding opportunities to volunteer which further connects fellow volunteers with the wider community. 

For me, volunteering, in many forms, has been really rewarding in terms of social connection with fellow volunteers and the wider community, but it also provides a sense of pride and happiness, especially when you can feel you are contributing positively to those around you.