Can't relate to others? Blame your parents

Having an unstable relationship with your parents can make you a people pleaser.

This is the finding of Dr Oliver Robinson from the University of Greenwich who will present his research today, Thursday 11 December, at the Division of Clinical Psychology’s annual conference today, 11 December 2008, at the Annual Conference of the British Psychological Society’s Division of Clinical Psychology, held at the Congress Centre, Great Russell Street, London WC1.

Previous research has shown that people who vary their personality to please who they are with tend to be less satisfied with life, have lower self esteem and higher rates of depression and anxiety. This research explored the idea that these people would have been more likely to experience unsettling and tense relationships with their parents.

Over 300 men and women took part in a questionnaire that asked them to rate their own personality traits, including emotional stability, in three social contexts; with friends, with work colleagues and with friends.

The results pointed to a specific link between emotionally instable relationships with parents and feeling the need to alter your personality to suit the people you are with.

Dr Robinson commented: "It seems that people who experience anxious or ambiguous relationships with their parents in childhood could fear rejection and abandonment in later life, so they habitually adapt their personality to fit in to social situations as adults. This way they feel accepted and minimise the chance of rejection.

"They also continue this unstable relationship with their parents whilst an adult. Psychologists need to be aware of these underlying problems in order to treat more effectively."

DURING THE CONFERENCE CONTACT: Jonathan Calder, DCP Communications Officer
Tel: 0207 631 0436 or 07951 385248 (mobile)